The Department of Homeboy Security's new CD: "I Say, Bring It On!"
(Note to Editors: In the interest of Homeboy Security, this press release was reviewed by the Undersecretary of the Department of Homeboy Security and may contain certain corrections.)
Seattle, WA - November 10th, 2003 - "Call it body rockin' in the free world, if you will," explains the Secretary of the Department of Homeboy Security (DOHS) about his new CD release, The Presidential Remixes, which is available now from the department's website: www.thedepartmentofhomeboysecurity.com. "I modeled this after Moby's Play which I understand has sold millions of copies. The combination of strong messages over modern beats brings the funkier side of our Commander in Chief to the kids."
Although his true identity is no secret within the Beltway, the Secretary prefers to record under the collective name The Department of Homeboy Security. (Hint to the curious: It's not Tom Ridge, Pat Buchanan or Bob Dole.)
Why did this sixty-something career bureaucrat suddenly embrace the sounds of the street? According to the Secretary, "While I was in Florida engineering the recount in 2000, I was intrigued by the 'cars that go boom.' In our office, even though we would have the TV turned up, it never drowned out the sound of the cars passing by. Although I'm no mixologist by trade, I couldn't help but notice that the mad flow of Dubya fit the beats perfectly."
CORRECTION (by the Undersecretary of the DOHS): "In all honesty, the Secretary came in my office and told me I needed to come up with a CD that made President Bush appeal to the youth market. Since I knew he'd never listen to it himself, I took the opportunity to put my touch on it and put some political insights in the mix."
One of the featured tracks on The Presidential Remixes is "No Doubt." Says the secretary, "When you listen to Dubya dropping science on this track, you'll wish that you were on your own UN weapons inspections team. When he states, 'Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that Iraq continues to possess some of the most lethal weapons ever devised,' you can dance to compelling evidence! And for those critics who say Dubya isn't street, then tell me why he named a song after that Gwen Stefani girl's band!"
CORRECTION (by the Undersecretary of the DOHS): "If the Secretary actually bothered to listen to the track, he would appreciate the fact that many of us are concerned about the pretense of eliminating weapons of mass destruction as a justification for war. We'd be much happier dropping science than dropping bombs. And by the way, this song has nothing to do with No Doubt except for being hella good."
The Presidential Remixes' final track, "Aftermath," packs a powerful punch. The Secretary enthuses about Dubya's big chorus, "Bring it on, my answers is bring it on," by saying, "There's your rock'n'roll moment right there. How much more leadership do you want? Of course, your answer should be none more."
CORRECTION (by the Undersecretary of the DOHS): "Oh yeah, the 'bring it on' thing. I mean what was he thinking when he said that. If the Secretary had listened to this track, he would have gained a better understanding himself of the human cost of such a reckless, macho statement."
The Secretary became quite enthusiastic about the debut release from The Department of Homeboy Security, "This CD is so unbelievably patriotic that I would personally like to see every American receive a copy of this for free with their tax cut rebate check!"
CORRECTION (by the Undersecretary of the DOHS): "The CD is available to all Americans... for a price. It can be ordered at www.thedepartmentofhomeboysecurity.com. Special departmental clearance for distribution has granted to www.cdbaby.com as well. "
Asked about the idea of the holiday gift giving season, the Secretary paused and reflected, "In the words of Donny Rumsfeld, 'would this make a great stocking stuffer? Yes, it would. It would make a great stocking stuffer.'"
CORRECTION (by the Undersecretary of the DOHS): "Well, Donny didn't say that but yes, it would make a great stocking stuffer."
For information: http://www.thedepartmentofhomeboysecurity.com or contact: email@example.com
Check out the artist's website:
2. Break the Cycle
3. Bush As Dictator
4. Theater of Operations
5. Interlude - Food On Your Family
6. No Doubt
7. Interlude - Unknown Unknowns
9. Interlude - Hostage?
10. Instant Dismissal (featuring C9, C9, A9, and Dr Gonzo, Esq.)
11. Interlude - Who?
12. Residential Premix
13. Aftermath (featuring C9, A9, and Lp)